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You Give Good Context

You Give Good Context

WHY WHAT’S BETWEEN YOUR EARS AND WHAT’S BETWEEN THE SHEETS HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN YOU THINK.

If you leave your house looking like a sexy kitten, or a zombie accountant, people might think you’re nuts. Unless it’s Halloween.

A full-body massage is great. Unless Dan, your creepy boss, is trying to give it you.

If you’re zooming down the road at 110mph, it better be a race track. 

What I’m talking about here is context.

It’s what makes the difference between a $500 speeding ticket and an impressive lap time. It’s what separates your cool costume from a 5150 commitment against your will. It’s what distinguishes romance, from a sexual harassment suit. 

And it’s what makes all the difference in the world, when it comes to your sex life.

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F*ck Maybe

F*ck Maybe

Why ambivalence in relationships, Isn't the kiss of death. 

Back in July, Mark Manson wrote a blog post that achieved internet breaking kind of buzz; Sexy felon Jeremy Meeks, meets Kim Kardashian’s butt, kind of buzz.

In this article, he introduces the Law of F*ck Yes or No, an edict that provides one clear directive for how to simplify our screwed up lives.

His advice goes as follows: If you’re thinking about getting involved with someone new, they should inspire a full blown F*ck Yes, in order for you to move forward.

The other person, must then reciprocate with an F-yes of equally mammoth proportions, in order for you to proceed with them.

When I first read his post, I agreed hands down.

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Sharing is Scaring

Sharing is Scaring

HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR PARTNER'S SEXUAL PAST!

It's probably safe to assume that the person you're currently sleeping with, slept with someone else before you. In fact, she might have slept with someone else immediately before sleeping with you, if you're not monogamous. It's also probably safe to assume that she perfected that Rock-a-Bye-Booty you like so much with someone else, and that she realized she was into light spanking with yep, you got it, her Brazilian ex who as she puts it, "helped the flower of her sexuality blossom." (p.s. puke)

I for one, learned the hard way that La Isla Bonita is a silly song to have sex to. That's the kind of invaluable information that I know for sure has been appreciated by my partners.

Some of us don't worry too much about what, (or who) came before us. My own partner, for example, says infuriatingly reasonable things like "It's none of my business," or "It had nothing to do with me." Comments to which I soundly reply by walking away indignantly and cracking open my copy of When Things Fall Apart.

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The Trampire Diaries

The Trampire Diaries

Why slut-shaming is ruining your sex life!

So it looks like KStew and RPatz are back together. Huge sigh of relief. Order has been restored in the sleepy hamlet of Hollywood.

As an 11 year old friend of mine says, "sometimes people in movies fall in love." True. And sometimes, people in movies have a hard time in their relationships. Sometimes people in movies put on their matching Chinese cashmere Snuggies, sit in their Spanish Revival style living room, underneath an original collection of Hiroshi Sugimoto photographs, and have a come to jesus conversation about the state of their union.

So Snow White had a not so snow white moment. 

Why can't we leave it at that and admire K-Rob for their capacity for forgiveness and reconciliation? Kristen is being slammed in the media for (gasp) having cheated on her boyfriend. A 22 year old cheating on her boyfriend? What a way to devastate the nation.

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Talk Wordy To Me

Talk Wordy To Me

HOW OFTEN DO YOU AND YOUR SEX PARTNERS TALK ABOUT THE SEX YOU'RE HAVING? 

  • Do you talk more about Justing Bieber than about your own beaver? 
  • More about Law and Order than about the way the law regulates our bedrooms? 
  • More about whether you should get bangs, than how you are (or aren't) getting banged? 
  • More about Glee than about experiencing actual pleasure in the bedroom? 

 Allow me to digress.

This past weekend, I attended the 2012 Good Vibrations Sex Summit, among the likes of Carol Queen, trans activist Yosenio V. Lewis and the sexysmart Emily Morse. Tucked in the honeymoon (conference) suite of the Marriot Marquis, icons and iconoclasts of sex, pop culture, media, academic research and scientific inquiry got in bed together and did it. 

And by did it, I mean they came together and started ridiculously poignant conversations, that we should all be getting in on. 

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